His Deceiving Look

Title: His Deceiving Look

Author: Magic Sparks

Fanfic URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/zilliontin0e/

Reviewer: Xlylb4bydr3am3r @ http://www.melting-gelato.co.nr/

Story Title: 3/5

I think that the title could’ve been better because “His Deceiving Looks” doesn’t really suit the story.

Appearance: 9/10

I like the image but the background is kind of plain

Forewords: 10/10

I liked the foreword it was very detailed and it didn’t give away too much of the story J

Plot: 15/15

Flow: 10/10

Originality/Creativity: 13/15

I thought that the storyline was pretty much original in my opinion but the Yoosu and Jaechun the couple thing was kind of used often in other storylines.

Characterization: 8/8

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10 /12

I think that your grammar is pretty good but your tenses still need working on like this quote from chapter 6 [“No I didn’t! “Yoochun argues with his son.] Should be [“No I don’t”] you tend to use the wrong tense in the wrong sentences.

Writing style: 10 /10

Your writing style is good. The way you write is very easy to read and not in paragraphs after paragraphs which in my opinion is great because if the story was written in paragraphs it wouldn’t have been as easy to read and kind of boring.

Enjoyment: 4 /5

I found this story very interesting but in the beginning it didn’t really interest me when I reading. When I was reading the beginning there wasn’t anything that pulled me in to want to read on until I got farther into the story that’s where it really got me interested.

Subtotal:92/100

Bonus: 5/5

Total: 97/100