My Dream

Title: My Dream
Author: D14
Fanfic URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/d14_1shot/
Reviewer: MagicSparks @ Melting Gelato

Story Title: 3/5

The title is ordinary yet suits the story very well. I get idea of the story as soon as I read the title.

Appearance: 7/10

The color is sweet! I’m not a fan of pink, but it reminds me of cotton candy. So it is as sweet as the story itself. I gave extra marks for the appearance because you made the poster yourself. Seriously, you pick the right picture of Yunho! He looks like a prince. And that BOF girl (she’s Kim So Eun right?) meets the description of ‘You’ (reader) with long deep brown straight hair and all. It’s simple, but I like it a lot.

Forewords: 7/10

Any DBSK fans especially Yunho’s would agree with me that you really describe him perfectly (in term of physical) well in your forewords. I loved how you asked the reader to imagine what would we do if….? You manage to drag my attention to know more about the story. You didn’t expose too much about the story, but it’s understandable since this is a one-shot.

Plot: 13/15

I LOVE the plot! It’s a very common plot, but you manage to make it interesting. In dreams everything seems perfect, until you wake up of course. I know it’ll end up as a dream; it’s too perfect to be something real, but in the end you manage to make me go OMG! IS HE REALLY MY FIANCE?! It’s like reading a premonition type of story. I knew at the back of my head, it’ll end up with fail kissing attempt/ fall from the bed scene and having to wake up and realize that it was all just a dream. But I’m in awe because you turn my expectation into something else. Congrats for making an ordinary plot to something worth reading! It’s an ugly truth; if I were to awake to have DBSK’s member as my fiancé, I will scream NO WAY!!! too… ^__^

Flow: 9/10

I think the flow make great sense. Meet the parents, then the fiancé, then the press and fans while going to meet the best friends. Everything was so fast! Especially the proposal part, but in dreams, anything makes sense.

Originality/Creativity: 11/15

In terms of originality, I can’t give you full marks because I’ve read so many stories based on dreams- having a celebrity proposing/ wanting to marry you/ engaged to a star kind of dream. But as for your creativity, I have to give you extra credits. The ending is AWESOME!

Characterization:7 /8

I’ve been DBSK’s fan for almost 5 years now. And I have to say you perfectly bring out their characters in your story. I smiled every time you describe Yunho. You make me believe that the Yunho I’m about to marry is the Jung Yunho adored by millions of DBSK’s fan. The same thing goes with the other members.

I love how you characterized ‘You’ (reader) too. She acts accordingly. I think most of us would do the same if we woke up to have U-know Yunho as fiancé. Feeling shy, inferior and try so hard to look good and all. I can’t stop laughing at the silliness of ‘You’ (reader) when she woke up, feeling hungry and calling for her Umma, asking for milk and pancakes. Even in her dream, she’s acting like that! That is just hilarious!

I can’t give you full marks because you stated “Micky Yoochun, the only guy who could made a woman faint by a single smile”, hey, that guy had made thousands of WOMEN faint by his single smile! Hahaha! No, I’m just kidding. I think you deserve 7/8 for the characterization.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 11/12

I have no complaint. I can’t find any major mistake. Except for Calvin Klein which you spelled Calvin Klain; if you are purposely changing the brand name, I’m sorry for pointing that out. There are still rooms of improvement for your choice of words and terminology.

Writing style: 10/10

Full marks it is! I love your writing style!

Enjoyment: 4/5

This is one of DBSK’s one shot that I enjoyed. I’ve read it three times before I review it and I still felt the same enjoyment. I was like OMO! Every time “You’ (reader) went OMO! Love it! So, for that I gave you 4 marks!

Sub total:82/100

Bonus:3/5

-Because you requested Melting Gelato to review this story.

-Because you preferred me to review your one shot.

-Because I enjoy reading it over and over again.

Total:85/100