Ripped Apart

Title: Ripped Apart
Author: angelynnnnn
Fanfic URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/angelynn_/
Reviewer: BangBangVIP @ MG

Story Title:4 /5
-I see how it fits in with the story line. It's not the most original or unique name, but it's fitting.
Appearance:7 /10
-The poster looks nice. The background seems a bit boring for my taste, but at least you had a background. It's looks good.
Forewords: 7/10
-Not much to the forewords, but it was simple and got to the point. I liked the quotes from each lead in the story.
Plot: 10/15
-I've read a few stories like this. Guy cheats on his heart broken girlfriend, all the while she's with him her friend is loving her secretly. Your own twist on it though, made it awesome.
Flow: 10/10
- I thought it flowed quite nicely. It wasn't too slow, and you did have a 3 year time jump, but that's no big deal.
Originality/Creativity: 12/15
-With the plot being used often and you adding your own twists to the story the way you did, you were bound to get high marks in this section. I thought it was quite creative how you twisted it. Good job!
Characterization: 8/8
-You did a good job describing the emotions of the characters. I really felt it.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9 /12
-There were a few common spelling and grammatical errors such as 'dialled' is actually spelled 'dialed' and using commas where there should be periods, but other than that you did great in this area. Your vocabulary seems to be average, which is good but you could always try to replace some words with similar ones.
Writing style:7/10
-Everyone has their own writing style. It was easy to keep up with it, but you should try to keep a quote in the same paragraph if being said by the same person. I got confused sometimes with the way you spaced almost every sentence.

ex:

You wrote: “Sunday, I wish you’d appear in front of my eyes before today is over,”

He closed his eyes and counted to 3, before opening them again to meet with the same empty space in front of him.

“Who am I kidding?”

Could be:

“Sunday, I wish you’d appear in front of my eyes before today is over.” He closed his eyes and counted to 3, before opening them again to meet with the same empty space in front of him. “Who am I kidding?”

This way, it really makes it look like the same person is still talking.

Enjoyment:5 /5
-I'm not a big fan of DBSK, but I enjoyed this one. You wrote it well.

Sub total:89/100

Bonus: 5 /5
-I really enjoyed reading this! You're a great write. I look forward to seeing what and who you write about next.

Total: 94/100